Summer Internship - FINAL JOURNAL

United strength, waves of adversities don't stand a chance.

We easily succumb to failure because of the weaknesses within ourselves. But we never tried hard enough to patch the cracked lines of our behavior. Behavior has been the crucial attribute towards success this summer. Have I been consistently working? Am I working correctly? Have I been keeping to the basics? These questions are some that needs deep reflection; and I reflect on it as something that I have been struggling to answer ‘YES’ to these questions. YES, there were times when I wasn’t working correctly, working smartly, and working with my basics (enthusiasm, working on schedule, passion and humility), but I never meant ‘yes’ that way. By all means, I tried. And tried I did with grit! Taking up this summer challenge by itself and finishing it is by far the most courageous thing I’ve ever done in my life. Who’d thought a person with little respect to salesmen would one day become a salesman himself!? Getting rejected 15 times a day, driving aimlessly at unknown neighborhoods and talking to strangers; these are things Mom would have told us not to do! But I did it, and I did it proud because there are beautiful things in life that we take for granted as we are blinded by the expectations of society and stereotypes.

12 weeks, 75 working days. Expectation was and still is a very stressful thing. But can you imagine if I could have lived up to expectation for 12 weeks, why not live up to expectation for the rest of your life? It was a good experiment, 75 days of pure reality smacked into your face; a sample of what to expect and to be expected in the working world. By having this type of motivation shouldering on me, I would have eventually resorted to a dull life with no adventure. That is why this summer has not just taught me about living with expectations and behavioral ethics, but reliance on something so powerful that unleashes skill and leadership. A PURPOSE! It is purpose that will motivate oneself to fully unleash potential. As I learned from peers that have been successful in this business, I realized that they had a very bold and strong purpose. A purpose that inspired me to work harder, but I didn’t want this symbiosis because I wanted one custom made for me. Even so, there is one more hidden influence that summed it all and given me enlightenment in an interesting way. What was expressed has probably been preached by motivators and leaders. Not that I won’t follow the teachings from a textbook, but why follow when you can lead. With that in mind, I surrender it all to the newly found divine author of my life, God.

The fact that I’ve never been close to religion as I always thought that I will be the author of my life has been mind blowing. I guess it is time to grow. We all get older everyday, but as people get older, I grow older. Getting old is just an event of physical numbers getting larger. One may wrinkle up in age but if one doesn’t have experience, what use is it being old. GROWING on the other hand means putting every effort for improvement, experiencing life’s offerings and the hunger for knowledge. The best thing is you will never have grown as it is a continuous and eternal process; you just keep growing and growing, becoming better and better, stronger and stronger. What was learned in school is just the tip of the arrow of what could be applied in life. My reliance on God has given me a new phase in life and has turned my perception on how I look at things. To date, after departing from the bible-belt that became the contributor to my new found relationship with God, we have drawn farther again, but near at heart.

Being far away from home has never worried me nor got me emotional before. However, this summer somehow made me more human as unknown emotions trapped deep within me came trickling out. It probably is because of the nature of working alone. This time alone while working gave me a chance to reflect on my family, people I know and mostly, myself. Those ugly colors in me have been revealed, and I’m actually fortunate to see it now as I have a chance to give it a new splash of vibrant and exciting colors. This new picture is not one that can be painted overnight; in fact, it will never be completed as it is always altered to accommodate this ever changing environment we live in. However, a picture doesn’t exist without its tools to paint. I consider myself to be God’s tool to reach the hearts of the many people I’ve met, trying to fill their lives with color. In return they have been teaching me to be a stronger and better servant of God. The people I’ve met have truly been a blessing for me. Many stereotypes have been broken and I have a new understanding about life and society in America, particularly the southern states. Other than the people I have met, the people I worked with have truly been a major motivation factor. Competition was ugly, but it is also competition that keeps one on his/her feet. Competition aside, they have been my guiding star during times of adversity and my pillow during times when I just needed to rest my head from too much of stressful thinking.

After all the sweat, tears and not to mention blood from those pesky bugs, I have finally reached the end of a path, to the beginning of a journey. What has been experienced this summer has taught me to appreciate my past and to concentrate on the present. But it is easier said than done. And even though I may sometimes not have the right approach and skill to accomplish certain activities, what I got that’s truly wonderful and worth it all is the attitude and character that has sown in me. Like what Eleanor Roosevelt said, “We gain strength, and courage, and confidence by each experience in which we really stop to look fear in the face ... we must do that which we think we cannot.” Will I be succumbed to my emotions again, probably; but one thing for sure is that whenever that blasted devil in me speaks, I know the true master of my life, myself and God.
We just have to be excited of our future
But let memories comfort us once in a while